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Commonplace Lavatory Laughs

Toilet humor has long been the safe haven of your Daily, and we are always mindful regarding memorable lavatory incidents and historic moments, especially in relation to football. It was quite amusing to learn that Big Website columnist a well-known presenter possesses a urinal decorated with West Brom motifs within his residence. Spare a thought for the Barnsley fan who understood the bathroom a little too literally, and needed rescuing from an empty Oakwell stadium following dozing off in the toilet midway through a 2015 losing match versus the Cod Army. “His footwear was missing and misplaced his cellphone and his headwear,” explained an official from the local fire department. And nobody can overlook during his peak popularity playing for City, Mario Balotelli entered a community college to access the restrooms in 2012. “He left his Bentley parked outside, then entered and inquired directions to the restrooms, afterward he visited the teachers' lounge,” an undergraduate shared with local Manchester media. “After that he was just walking around the college grounds like he owned the place.”

The Toilet Resignation

Tuesday represents 25 years from when Kevin Keegan quit as England manager after a brief chat inside a lavatory booth alongside FA executive David Davies deep within Wembley Stadium, following that infamous 1-0 defeat versus Germany during 2000 – England’s final match at the historic stadium. According to Davies' personal account, his private Football Association notes, he entered the drenched struggling national team changing area right after the game, discovering David Beckham crying and Tony Adams motivated, both players begging for the official to reason with Keegan. Subsequent to Hamann's direct free-kick, Keegan walked slowly through the tunnel with a distant gaze, and Davies located him seated – reminiscent of his 1996 Liverpool behavior – in the corner of the dressing room, whispering: “I'm leaving. This isn't for me.” Stopping Keegan, Davies attempted urgently to salvage the situation.

“What place could we identify [for a chat] that was private?” stated Davies. “The tunnel? Crawling with television reporters. The changing area? Crowded with emotional footballers. The bathing section? I couldn't conduct an important discussion with the national coach while athletes jumped in the pool. Only one option presented itself. The restroom stalls. A crucial incident in the Three Lions' storied past happened in the old toilets of a venue scheduled for destruction. The impending destruction could almost be smelled in the air. Pulling Kevin into a stall, I secured the door behind us. We stayed there, eye to eye. ‘My decision is final,’ Kevin declared. ‘I'm leaving. I'm not capable. I'll inform the media that I'm not adequate. I cannot inspire the squad. I can’t get the extra bit out of these players that I need.’”

The Consequences

Consequently, Keegan quit, subsequently confessing he considered his period as Three Lions boss “without spirit”. The double Ballon d'Or recipient continued: “I found it hard to fill in the time. I ended up coaching the blind squad, the deaf team, working with the ladies team. It’s a very difficult job.” English football has come a long way in the quarter of a century since. Whether for good or bad, those Wembley toilets and those two towers have long disappeared, while a German now sits in the technical area Keegan previously used. The German's squad is viewed as one of the contenders for next year’s Geopolitics World Cup: National team followers, value this time. This exact remembrance from a low point in English football acts as a memory that circumstances weren't consistently this positive.

Real-Time Coverage

Tune in with Luke McLaughlin at 8pm British Summer Time for Women’s Bigger Cup updates concerning Arsenal's match against Lyon.

Today's Statement

“We stood there in a lengthy line, wearing only our undergarments. We were the continent's finest referees, elite athletes, role models, mature people, mothers and fathers, resilient characters with high morals … yet nobody spoke. We scarcely made eye contact, our gazes flickered a bit nervously when we were requested to advance in couples. There Collina examined us thoroughly with an ice-cold gaze. Silent and observant” – ex-international official Jonas Eriksson reveals the humiliating procedures referees were previously subjected to by previous European football refereeing head Pierluigi Collina.

Football Daily Letters

“What’s in a name? There exists a Dr Seuss poem named ‘Too Many Daves’. Have Blackpool suffered from Too Many Steves? Steve Bruce, plus assistants Steve Agnew and Steve Clemence have been dismissed through the exit. Does this conclude the club's Steve fixation? Not completely! Steve Banks and Steve Dobbie continue to take care of the first team. Total Steve progression!” – John Myles

“Now you have loosened the purse strings and distributed some merchandise, I have decided to put finger to keypad and share a brief observation. Ange Postecoglou claims he started conflicts in the school playground with kids he knew would beat him up. This self-punishing inclination must explain his choice to sign with Nottingham Forest. As an enduring Tottenham follower I'll continue appreciating the subsequent season award but the only second-season trophy I can see him winning near the Trent River, if he remains that duration, is the second division and that would be quite a challenge {under the present owner” – Stewart McGuinness.|